There have been many times in my life when I have simply been going through the motions. I am a passionate person by nature. I get fully invested in things very quickly but that passion can just as quickly putter out and I am left passionless and going through the motions.
Does that ever happen to you?
I think, for me at least, this happens most often when my "passion" has grown out of my own desires and not out of what God has in mind for me. Those times when I think I know what I want to do or who I want to be and I start out without really considering what God wants for me. Those are the times that inevitably my passion wanes and I am left holding on to something I don't really want anymore.
But then, there are those times that I know I'm doing what I am supposed to be doing. And even though it is hard work, incredibly hard work, harder than I EVER imagined. I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be.
I felt like this in the early days of staying-at -home with my children. It was harder than I EVER expected it to be. It still is. But I love it, and I wouldn't trade it for ANY six-figure salary under the sun!
I felt like that when I led the children's ministry at Rivercity Community Church. I spent HOURS every week preparing my lesson, the majority of my sunday was devoted to set up, clean up or teaching. But I LOVED it. Every sunday when we were done I would think, "THAT is right where God wanted me today."
And I felt that again today. For the first time since I got my acceptance letter from seminary, I KNEW I was where God wanted me to be and I could do this. I was vigorously handwriting notes, falling behind and getting stressed, when all the sudden I realized the words I just wrote were familiar. I quickly flipped through my typed up notes of the stuff I had been reading and realized the Prof. was discussing EXACTLY what I had just read. I already had these notes! I'm sure my eyes lit up, I felt myself smile and I glanced up at the professor and his eyes met mine and I saw in his eyes that HE knew, that I knew what he was talking about!!! It was a small victory but it made me feel like maybe I really could do this.
There is something very fulfilling in doing what you know God wants you to do, no matter how hard it might be.
How about you? Are you where God wants you to be right now? Are you doing what He wants you to do?