I am a seminary chic. I started class on Monday.
I am overwhelmed.
This is by far the biggest leap of faith I have ever taken. In every single initial encounter with a professor, staff member or student I have been asked "So why are you in seminary?". And every time my answer is "I'm not sure yet." I don't know why God has me here, I really don't. But I hope I figure it out soon, because this is really hard stuff.
I'm only taking one class, but it's theology. I've never taken theology before. It's like a foreign language to me. This week I have to read 267 pages, watch 3 lectures online and write them each up, on top of the my 3.5 hour on-site lecture. Next week I will have 250 pages to read, my 3.5 hour class, 1 online lecture to watch and write up and my first paper due.
I feel like some one dropped me in the middle of a marathon without any training and I'm expected to finish. My brain hurts from thinking more than it has in the past 10 years combined. I really should have stretched it out occasionally, done some light exercises this summer or something to get my self ready for this.
It is probably no coincidence that the first reading assignment we had was on faith, the idea of trusting God. That is all I have right now. I am trusting God to be faithful to me as I try desperately to be obedient to him. I trust that he has something planned for me, even though I don't know what it is. And I trust that he will use this for his glory, not my own. I will have faith.
I guess I better get back to studying...