I am diligently making my way through reading the entire Bible in a year. Something I have never done before and something I will not do again while I am in seminary. There is only so much reading a girl can do!
But I have to admit, over and over again I have been moved, inspired, convicted and taught by passages of the Bible I probably would not have read had I not taken on this challenge.
Today I found myself in the book of Haggai. A book, I admit, I have not read often before. But today, it spoke to me with a power I will not soon forget.
Haggai 1:6 "You have planted much, but harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it."
That hit a little to close to home.
"You have planted much but harvested little..." Yeah, that's probably me. This is something that God has really been working on in me lately. Where is your fruit? I keep asking myself. Am I making a difference? I am investing in people who need to be invested in or am I investing in people who are already rich? Am I helping to bring in the harvest or preaching to the choir? Am I doing God's work or my own? Somehow I don't think I am going to like my answers to some of these questions.
"You eat, but never have enough...." I don't know what it means to go hungry. Even in Haiti, we Americans had far more to eat than the orphans (don't get me wrong, they were fed well, but the BEST they had to offer, was saved for the Americans). What does that tell you about our culture? About what other countries think of and know about us?
I am rarely thirsty, and have let's be honest, I have way too many clothes (you won't get me to repeat that). I have more than I need, too much! I am fat (metaphorically) , over hydrated and have more clothes than I can wear in a month.
"You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it." My husband has been blessed with a well paying job. Please don't think I am being prideful. We have had our share of hard times. He has been laid off twice, once for 15 months straight, and the other time when I was staying at home with the kids and we had no other source of income. We know what it is like to count every single penny (and end up a few short at the end). We have had savings, lost our savings, and had to start saving again. But that is not the current season of our life. Lately, I swear my purse has a hole in it and the money is just falling out. But that is a sign that I am not being intentional with it. I am not being a good steward with what God has provided. And that needs to change.
Today I read a passage I had only read one, maybe two, other times in my life. And I am so thankful I did. I am newly convicted of where I am in life, and where God wants me to be.