Today I'm worried. I'm not normally a worrier, but today I woke up worried.
I'm worried about my kids: about school starting, who their teachers will be, if their friends will be in their class, if I've done what I need to do to prepare them, if they are really growing in their faith.
I'm worried about my school starting; am I ready, will I be able to do this, will I still be able to be the mom and wife I want to be?
I'm worried about the dog. He might be sick, really sick, he has surgery Friday and we will know more then.
I'm worried about finances. With school starting and kids growing, and a possibly sick dog I feel like we are hemorrhaging money right now.
I'm worried about a friend who has let herself get very sick. I worry about her a lot.
I'm worried about a lot of things and I'm not normally a worrier.
The bible has a lot to say about worrying. In a nutshell, it says don't. But sometimes I do. What then?
One of my favorite passages on worrying says "Do not be anxious about ANYTHING but in everything, by prayer and petition, WITH THANKSGIVING, presents your requests to God" Philippians 4:6 (emphasis mine).
So I tried that. I prayed a prayer full of thanksgiving. I'm not gonna lie. I cried big tears while I prayed this prayer. I do have a lot to be thankful for. I know that. The kids will be fine, they attend a great school, with good teachers and good kids. And I am very thankful for that. School is going to be fine. And I have to believe that since God loves them EVEN MORE than I do, his grace will cover my mistakes. Thankful doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about that!
My school, though it still scares me, will be fine too. I'm a smart girl, I will figure this out. God will not let me fail if this is what he REALLY wants me to do! I am thankful I have the opportunity to go where he is asking me to go.
My dog Hank. Well, that still makes me cry. But I have had 12 years with the best dog God ever put on this planet. And maybe everything will be fine. God is in control even of the beasts right? Of that I am thankful.
We will be fine financially, that is what savings are for. God has provided for us time and time again. And thanks to the difficult times in our life, we have a pretty good savings. We are going to be fine. Who knew I would EVER be thankful for that year we were without a job!
My friend. I have to trust again that God loves her even more than I do and she is going to be fine. Something will click and she will get better. I'm thankful she came to us when she did.
The next verse in Philippians, after Paul tells you what to do instead of worrying, promises this, "and the peace of God, which transcends understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." It transcends understanding why just praying about something could make it better. I don't know why that should work. But I do know that it does. Maybe it was the cry fest I just had, or maybe, just maybe, it was the prayer. But my heart and mind are lighter, more clear. I'm not as weighed down.
I'm not as worried, of course I'm really not a worrier...